


And There You Will Be

by slash4femme



Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Charlie being introspective, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-03-27
Packaged: 2018-01-17 05:39:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1375858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slash4femme/pseuds/slash4femme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Charlie expects life to be too complicated, and sometimes the simplest answer is really the right one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And There You Will Be

**Author's Note:**

> originally written in December 2008

1.

Charlie did not like unquantifiable variables, not in his work, not in his life, not at all. He liked being able to know things, figure things out, have an answer that would always be unchanging. Emotions were unquantifiable variables. Liking someone was an unquantifiable variable. Having feelings for someone always made the situation more complex and less elegant. Charlie was a mathematician, he liked elegant, clean cut and relatively simple, in as far as theoretical math was ever simple. So for him being involved with someone was never simple. Which was why it seemed so strange that the greatest relationship of his life was the one he completely and totally missed. It was just that it was so easy, and it wasn’t supposed to be, relationships were not supposed to be easy.

He couldn’t really remember when exactly Larry had morphed from being his professor to his best friend. It had just kind of happened, probably over shared lunches and conversations of dark matter and black holes. Larry understood the world in ways Charlie didn’t, he knew how to calm Charlie when the world had stopped being logical, and talk him down when he got too lost in his own head. Larry was useful to turn to when Charlie was working on a paper, a theory or a case.

Right after his mother’s death it had been Larry who had convinced him to go back to work, and it had been Larry who had recommended him to Amita when she had been looking for a new adviser. Larry was always there when Charlie was fighting with Don, or worrying about what kind of danger Don was getting himself into. When Charlie had started pining after Amita, Larry had been unasked for, but always present, support. It was strange that, although Charlie kept constantly vigilant over every aspect of his life, Larry would be the one thing he took for granted. Yet while Charlie obsessed over his relationship with Don and his wooing of Amita, Larry was just always there, as close to a true constant as life got.

When Larry left for his journey into space it was like someone tore part of Charlie’s chest out. He didn’t understand why it hurt as much as it did. He should have been happy for his friend, happy that Larry was finally getting what he had always dreamed of. Instead all he could think about was the giant hole in his life, the wrongness of it all, of Larry not being there. Then when Larry had come back and joined a monastery, Charlie had wanted to kill someone or something, and that was unexpected, and totally unacceptable. He couldn’t deal with it the emotions, the emptiness, the way Larry made him feel. He hid, he did math, mostly he wanted everything to be the way it had been.

Things with Don became difficult and complicated; things with Amita become even more difficult.

He didn’t understand what either of them wanted from him, or how to simplify his life into something that could both includes the people he loved and retain his sanity. He tried, over and over again, but it never seemed to work out quite well enough. Larry came back eventually, to teach again, and to his relief Charlie began to feel his life slowly right itself. Not that everything was alright, and he was beginning to wonder whether it would ever be. It wasn’t as if it was horrible or he was miserable all the time. It was just that sometimes he wondered whether he would be able to keep both Don and Amita in his life, not when it was so exhausting.

2.

He was tired. Don’s case was not going well and he’d been fighting with Amita. He was exhausted, overwhelmed and frustrated, plus it was raining. His office door banged behind him as Charlie peeled off his soaking parka and looked up to see Larry sitting at his desk doing a crossword puzzle.

And just like that, everything clicked into place. Beautiful, simplistic, and elegant as any equation. For a moment he just stood there, watching Larry frown over his puzzle, then he moved to stand next to the desk.

“Larry.”

“Oh, hello Charles.” Larry looked up from his puzzle and smiled, all be it in rather distracted manner. Charlie just stood there for a moment longer just looking, before he seated himself at his desk across from Larry. Several minutes went by in comfortable silence before Charlie spoke again.

“Larry can I ask you a question?”

Larry looked up again from where he’d gone back to is puzzle. “Certainly although I must warn you that I am not guarantied to know the answer.”

Charlie smiled. “I was just wondering if you’ve found a place to stay.”

Larry put down the puzzle. “No, not as yet. No I haven’t. But we’ve had this conversation before and I said . . .”

“I remember what you said.” Charlie cut him off gently. “But I’ve been thinking, and I think I would really like you to come live with me.”

Larry didn’t answer instead he sat there looking impassively at Charlie who in turn began to feel increasingly uncomfortable.

“I mean if you really don’t want to . . .” Charlie resisted the urge to get up and pace around his office.

Larry steepled his fingers together and gazed at Charlie from over them. “Charlie . . . ” Larry paused for a moment looking down at his hands. “You know what interests me about that question? It’s how many other questions it includes.”

He looked up again slowly meeting Charlie’s eyes and Charlie felt his face heat. This would be the time Charlie knew to say all the other things, the things that had always been there between them without him ever noticing, until now. Instead he reached across his desk to take one of Larry’s hands in his, ignoring the look of surprise that passed across Larry’s face.

“Larry I would really love it if you came and lived with me.” He said quietly but with confidence and Larry slowly nodded.

They sat there for a few minutes just holding hands.

“Charles dare I ask whether you’ve spoken to Amita yet?”

Charlie looked up and then down at there linked hands.

“She’s not speaking to me. One of our fights, she’ll come back in a few days, we always make up, but I think this time we might need to have a longer talk.” He glanced back down at their linked hands. “A very long talk.”

“Do you want me to be there? I too consider her a friend.”

Charlie hesitated for a moment then nodded. “I think I would like that.”

Larry smiled, than stood. Charlie also stood, moving around the desk to stand in front of Larry before cupping the other man’s face in his hands and kissing him. It was effortless, like he’d been doing it all his life. Larry’s lips were warm and dry and tasted slightly of mint and tea. He smiled slightly when Charlie pulled back, and Charlie marveled at how uncomplicated it was, how easy it felt, this togetherness between them. Larry lowered is eyes slightly looking at where he had let his hands clasp in front of him.

“Charlie, far be it for me to question what is very possibly the best think to happen to me in a long, long time, but are you completely certain this is what you want?” He trailed off slightly and the look he gave Charlie was almost beseeching. “You do know that what ever else may happen, what ever you decide, I will always remain your friend.”

Charlie took a deep breath, leaning slightly closer to Larry, reveling in how secure and right it felt. “I’m sure Larry.” He said and meant it, completely and without doubt. “This is what I want.”

He was sure, this time he was completely sure and it was simple and safe and somehow it still didn’t mean he was settling for less then happy, less then perfect. Because Larry had always been there and would always be and Charlie knew it. There was no anxiety, no fear because when he thought about it, it seemed so obvious now that this wasn’t the beginning, not even close. They’d been together really for a long time and he’d just never realized it, expecting some how that being happy and comfortable wasn’t enough, that it couldn’t be real if he didn’t worry about it, work at it, and obsess over it. Yes, everything would be different now Charlie knew that.

Their relationship had changed, grown, deepened. It had become physically romantic in nature, or at least he hoped it would shortly be so, but this didn’t mean he hadn’t loved Larry, been in love with Larry for a very long time now.

It just went to show you, Charlie thought leaning forward to give Larry another kiss one that the other man not only accepted but also participated quite thoroughly in, that sometimes the simplest answer to a problem was the right one after all.

 


End file.
